Stop all the clocks


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It’s our most precious commodity.

And like Buddha teaches us, the trouble is, we think we have it. But time is something that we can never possess.  It is transient and fleeting and the more we clutch at it, the more it slips through our fingers and disappears.  You can’t buy it, replace it or rewind it.

Shame.  That would be really handy sometimes.  I often wish there was giant Sky Plus remote that I could use to rewind a bit of my life, especially when I can’t remember where I put my keys or in an argument to prove I am right! (I always am, by the way).

Time seems to whizz past us in the blink of an eye and before you know it, the cute little baby that once crawled around biting at your ankles and keeping you up all night long, is now almost ready for secondary school and (brace yourselves) is starting to meet up with boys at the weekend.  Oh.  Sweet.  Mother.   I don’t know how we got here and I’m certainly not ready for all that and everything else that comes with those awkward teenage years.

I know from speaking to my own mum that those years were less than joyful at times for her and my dad when I was a teenager.  She tells me that door slamming was a prominent feature but I don’t know what she is talking about.  I’m sure I was a delight!  I don’t think I got up to much mischief as a teenager.  (I pretty much saved it all up for my early twenties-but that’s another blog post entirely).   I digress….

Back to my own soon-to-be-teenager.  Did I blink and fast forward 11 years?  A few times recently I have actually burst into tears at the thought that my once happy, giggly, curious little girl has been replaced by an ‘almost’ teenager who is starting to throw the occasional strop, whose sleeping cycle is up the spout and who is choosing to lay in bed all morning at the weekends.  Seriously, how did those years slip by me?

I suppose while I was busy with baby number 2, child number 1 did what she is meant to do and grew up.   That’s not to say that I love and adore her any less than I did when she was little but it has suddenly dawned on me that I will never again see her as a small child and I never want to forget all the funny things she used to do.

Like the time she created a little friend out of an old envelope and called him Ryan.  She loved him so much and used to cuddle him in bed at night.  She decorated him with stickers and wrote his name on the front.  She still has him somewhere in her memory box.  I couldn’t bring myself to throw him away.  Or the times at age two or three she would dress up in my high heels and drape a Pashmina around her shoulders and parade about swinging my handbag and only answering to the name Petunia.  The image is burned on my brain.

And now, daughter number 2 is in the midst of her childhood years only her new friend is a lemon she has named Digby.  Digby is no ordinary lemon.  He is very clever and is not afraid to show his emotions.   Her latest thing is to thrust Digby in my face and say “talk to the lemon, the face ain’t listening”.


The new addition to our clan-Digby

And now I spend all my time laughing at the funny and crazy things she does.

I hope never to forget all of the wonderful memories I have of both of my daughters’ childhoods.  They brighten up every day and make me smile and when they eventually grow up and leave home, at least I’ll have Ryan and Digby to keep me company.

Thanks for reading x